Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
