Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
