I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
