The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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