I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
