Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
