yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
