how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
