a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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