just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Im part way to drunk.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
