just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
