Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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