Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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