I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
