I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize