tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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