so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
