There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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