matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sorry about my life...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
