I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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