She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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