When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize