she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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