I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
