do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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