I'm going to jail i love you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My ass is underappreciated
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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