ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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