i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There's always time for handjobs
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
