i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
