Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
