Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
