so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
