well I can't set my house on fire every night
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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