Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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