why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize