He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
