just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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