I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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