Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
