I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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