I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize