If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I love you.
Bad choice
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
