based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
