When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
