I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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