Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
