You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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