Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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