Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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