the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize