I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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