BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
