Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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