Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
