Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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