You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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