mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
