Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
