dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So. Much. Porn.
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