I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
