I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
