just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
