This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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