I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
